Matt's Muzings
Back In Singapore
November, 2005 Volume 8, Issue 59
Driving down the highway with familiar scenes in my mind from twenty years ago. Walking around in a very busy city. Eating more than I should eat. Living in a new house and trying to figure out how life works here.
Here are some questions that seem relevant to me these days.
What do you fall back on when you’re stepping out in faith? What do you look to when your emotions are all out of wack? How do you move forward into a place where you have never been before?
Here is what I am learning:
Don’t compare myself to my past.
Driving down the road at times I wonder, here I am twenty years later, back in Singapore. Hmmm, don’t go there.
Don’t look at myself.
I am not clear what I am doing now as it is all new and there is nothing to compare myself with. This just makes me insecure. Not bad, but also not really helpful. Just a broader question than above one.
Don’t look to others.
They can’t meet the deepest needs of our life. Give what you have to them and get what others give, but in the end they can’t give you what you need.
Do remember who God is.
I know He has spoken and that is of great comfort to me. But that is not what I trust. The tendency is to trust in my capacity to hear. Which places the emphasis on me and I want it on Him.
I must go deeper. I must study and explore and a key is remember, who God is. He is BIG enough. He is GOOD enough
I write about this every once in a while, not as much for you as for me. I need to hear what I know. I need to remind myself. He is, who he says He is and He will not deny himself. Job knew this. I love his response, ‘Tho he slay me, yet will I trust in Him’. Job knew God and didn’t try to interpret Him to meet his needs.
Jesus last words were, ‘Into your hands’ I commit my Spirit’ and that was after His Father has turned away because Jesus took our sin and it is the first time he has ever been separated from his Father.
Now I am not in hardship right now like that at all. I love this place and the people. I look forward to new opportunities. It is just that change and risk makes me vulnerable and my flesh doesn’t like that.
I know:
I know Him.
I remember who He is. That is a reality that guides. Sometimes I hear Him, always He hears me. Sometimes I find Him, always He is with me. Sometimes I understand His way, always He knows my ways and offers grace. Sometimes I lose sight of the good, always He has good for me in every aspect of life.
I don’t know where you are.
I do know where He is. I haven’t even been able to write a Muzing for a while as I keep looking around trying to keep up and change seems to be happening faster than my ability to catch up.
All I have to say is that leadership understands this.
He does not change. He will never change any of His attributes. If you discover one aspect of His faithfulness, He will never change that, it will only deepen. And so it is for His love, mercy, longsuffering, humility, patience and forgiveness. When in doubt, remember who He is. Remember that He is bigger than choices and cares intimately about us.
If that is not the foundation of leadership, then I have nothing to say.
I remember an old missionary we had as a speaker in Singapore years ago, he had started hundreds of churches and lived in the jungles of Indonesia. He had seen the wonderful hand of God and known suffering. I asked him, “What would you tell young people today who want to follow God?”
He answered in the form on an old Hymn, “Only trust him, only trust him…,”
I guess in times of risk and growth that is our life-line. “Trust and Obey, for there is no other way? We can trust Him to the degree that we remember and know who He is.
Thanks for your prayers,
Many blessings,
Matt & Celia
Please note Celia and I have changed our email addresses.
Matt’s is: mrawlins@mac.com
Celia’s is: crawlins1@mac.com