Matt's Muzings
What's Next--C.H.A.O.S.
As you know, I passed my oral exam March 2nd and have been home a month. I was greeted at the airport on my arrival by a group of friends singing. "For he's a jolly good Doctor." It was a great joy to see them there.
I spent a week or so rewriting some areas of my thesis and sent in the changes. We had a party to celebrate and for my friends to pray for me for a new release and authority in my life. Now comes the hard part.
What's Next?
I have been asking God what is next? What is on His heart for me to give myself to? I was so concerned with passing my exam that I could not think beyond it. Now that it is behind me I am free to think about what is next. I will walk through what I have been thinking about these last weeks.
I spent a couple of days wondering if I had anything to give. I found myself insecure with feelings I haven't felt for a while. How do I know what is on God's heart? How can I tell what is Him and what is me? Then He reminded me that Jesus lives in me. It is not about me, but about Him in me. Okay, that speed bump is taken care of.
What is Vision?
There is a lot of talk about the importance and need for vision and now I have to define mine.
My first question is; what is vision? I begin to think and ponder. I realize vision is the expression of who I am and who God is into the future.
A second question arises, since He is in me, what is on His and my heart for the future? I am called to serve leaders, to help them understand themselves, the ‘systems' they live in, and who God is.
A new question rises within me. I have a lot of good ideas, what is the difference between good ideas and vision? I realize vision, is another way of expressing, to whom and to what am I committed too.
With this in mind I go back and analyze the things I am committed to:
o People who want to know and walk in reality. (This is not a value statement, all people have the same value, but a relationship question, who do I want to work with?)
o Understanding doing whatever is necessary to explain and so understand life.
o Ownership of truth this is really a subpart of understanding. If I truly understand truth, then I must have ownership of it.
o Communication Talking about difficult issues and carrying questions that don't have simplistic answers.
o The Nature and Character of God Who we conceive God to be like will determine the answers to the above areas. I am committed to representing Him as He says He is.
A Beginning Place
With more wrestling and asking questions about how to put these pieces together, a leadership center is in my heart as a place to begin.
A place where people can come to understand and own truth.
A place where people can talk about difficult issues .
A place where creativity is encouraged.
All this is built on an understanding of and intimate relationship with God as He is revealed in His word.
It is still in the planning stages and I am talking with the leaders here to define it. Tentatively it will be, ‘ C enter for H uman A nd O rganizational S ystems.' Abbreviated ‘CHAOS'. I am not using this abbreviated word (CHAOS) in the definition of complete disorder, but in the ‘Physics' definition of a place where there is order without predictability.
Here are some very brief ideas from writers about self-organizing, chaotic systems and leadership:
‘We might think of ourselves as surfers riding the waves of change. The successful surfer is one who stays just ahead of the wave that could wipe him out at any moment. He uses the power of this very same wave, participating with it, not fighting it or trying to control it - interacting with its every nuance in the most intimate manner.'
‘Clouds are self-organizing chaotic systems. They are spectacular examples of strange and unpredictable systems, structured in ways we never imagined possible. After all, how do you hold a hundred tons of water in the air with no visible means of support?'
‘ Chaos. The word is deceptive. At the edge of chaos, on a very narrow band, lives a kind of sublime order. Picture a snowflake: a bit of moisture drifting to the ground and crystallizing into a unique, unrepeatable form distinct from every other snowflake. Yet, a snowflake is always recognizable. ‘
‘An observer of such an organization can tell what the organization's values and ways of doing business are by watching anyone, whether it be a production floor employee or senior manager.'
I would appreciate your prayers for wisdom as I lean into God and focus on C.H.A.O.S. I love that word.