Matt's Muzings
Leadership and Honoring Choices
I did it!
I have always wanted to get certified for scuba and finally did it. My sister and her husband are in town. We took scuba lessons together. We wanted to learn more so we took an advanced class on navigation and depth.
For this lesson we had to swim out from the beach in shallow water over a coral reef with a strong current pushing us around. My partner had a severe panic attack and I had to help her get out into deeper water. We finally made it out to a buoy in the deeper water and rested. We were on our way to our first deep dive - to 100 feet. Not a good start.
My partner stayed on the surface to recover, so I switched to a new partner. We slowly descended down and began to swim into the ‘depths'. The instructor was ahead of me and below me, my partner was going down ahead of me and it hit me. I started to panic. As I did I had shortness of breath. Because I have asthma breath is always a very sensitive issue for me. I began thinking of the surface, then of the tons and tons of water over my head. I was at eighty feet, eight stories of water above me. Everyone was going down, and all of a sudden, I didn't want to. I was thinking about going up. Things were out of control.
I swam quickly to my partner and touched his leg to get his attention. I ran my flat hand straight across in front of me. A signal that I was leveling off. I have a choice and I was using it.
The amazing thing was that as my partner stopped and waited for me and the power of the choice settled in. I was able to catch my breath. I could breath. It was okay, I still had a choice. That was not taken from me. Quickly I could see it was only twenty feet to the bottom, then we could head along the bottom and back to the top. I could make it. I could do it, and did.
In last months muzing, I talked about control and intimacy . We need to give up control to have intimacy. But I realized from diving, what that doesn't mean is that I give up my choice.
We are called to self-control. It is a fruit of the spirit dwelling in us. Self-control is the choice I make to follow truth no matter what I am feeling. But that is not what I am talking about. The key is to understand that intimacy is not about a single person, you can't be intimate with yourself (as hard as some people try).
Intimacy is defined in a relationship. Intimacy comes because I have a choice and use it to serve another in love. I use my choice to honor them. If I am too proud to be vulnerable and weak in loving others, then my only option is to seek control and I need power to do that.
Here is the key for leadership. A leader never takes away the choice of those he or she is leading. By honoring their choice, he makes himself vulnerable to them and in a sense, he gives them a piece of control and commits to working through relationship and truth which is the foundation of the kingdom of God .
The devil never wants you to have a choice. He wants to be in control. He will try substances, addictions, pornography, physical weakness, anything to limit your choice and control your will. He doesn't care about truth, only about control.
When the Bible says God will always provide a way, in a sense what that means is that He will always give you a choice. He is constantly working towards one clear goal, to strengthen your choice. Yes, towards life and Him, but always your choice.
How quickly leaders on earth want to take it from you, and we want to give it up. It makes things so much easier, safer, so much less messy. However, a choice is the only movement the muscle, God calls the heart, has and He tells us very strongly to watch over our heart with all diligence.
The most honoring thing you gave give to others is to honor their choice. Give them the truth and commit to a relationship of mutual honoring.
Remember, you may not like the alternatives, they may not be pleasant, but it is your choice. Use it as you will, a leader following God's leadership will never take it from you.
The choice is yours.